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have reason to believe I will outlive contemporaries, so friends and connections will pass away. She&
Asharti was very old. But I want to reclaim what life I can. He looked up at last, his eyes defiant, not
realizing that even in his defiance he exuded a vulnerability that belied his more-than-human properties.
No words of hers could erase what had been done to him. All she could do was the one thing he could
not ask of her. She looked inside and knew that whatever he was when the madness of his need was on
him, she could not hate him.
She knew what he was, if he did not. But how could she tell him he was a vampire? Would that not
undermine his resolve to fight his condition? She forgave him what he was precisely because he would
never forgive himself. And she could never tell him that without shaming him further.
 A normal life does not seem too much to ask, she whispered.
He swallowed. He licked his lips and she could swear his eyes filled.  It is.
Her own eyes filled and overflowed.
 Look, your food has grown cold, he said gruffly.  Let me procure you another plate.
She had forgotten the tray was there.  I m not hungry.
 Nonsense, he said, standing.  You require food to restore your strength. He turned to the door,
dashing the back of his hand across one cheek.
 Redding! he called.
He had told her almost everything. He would never tell anyone about the final degradation. Only Asharti
and Fedeyah knew, for the rest were dead. He would never see those two again once he was safe in
England. He watched the girl sleep, weakened by his vile need for blood. She had revealed herself to him
as well. Had she not tried to command him when in the grip of fever? Were all women like Asharti in
some way? And yet, who had produced her fever? He had. Whose fault that she was weak and said she
knew not what? His. He should be wary of her, but he dare not blame&
He was exhausted by the strain of reliving the nightmare in the desert. A day did not go by but he
reproduced it in dreams, in memories. But to speak of it&
Ian closed the book he had been reading to her after she had eaten and drunk her dose of porter. The
Iliad. How simple Homer s view of life s tribulations seemed. Ian had gotten only a few lines out before
she drifted off. In some ways it was a touching signal that she trusted him. Or perhaps it was a sign of her
debilitation. He pulled the quilt up around her and retired through the common cabin to his own chamber
and shut the door carefully against the light. At least now there was some hope she would not put a
spoke in his wheel by accusing him publicly. He knew she would never gossip about him privately to
make herself seem important. She was not that kind of woman. The next days would tell if she regretted
her decision today.
The Atlantic wind pushed the Beltrane toward Brest more reliably than the variable breezes of the Med.
They coursed northward along the coast of Portugal and Spain. Time passed in a blur for Beth. Both she
and Rufford acted as though his confession had never occurred. But he called on her daily in the late
afternoon, draping her window, and in the evenings. Rufford s face recovered from its sunburn, and she
noticed that his tan was fading, too, as he spent more and more time out of the light. He read to her or
asked about her travels. He was most insistent about her drinking the porter and eating, until she was
sure she would grow positively fat. For her part, she dozed, even in his presence, and took up the
needlework that Lady Metherton had pressed upon her as the sole genteel occupation for a lady of
quality. It was the only thing her mind could compass sometimes.
Mrs. Pargutter did not once come to see her, but Jenny stole minutes away from her mistress on several
occasions and looked in to dress Bern s hair, winding the escaping frizz into curls beside her face and
pinning her hair up into a thick knot high on her crown. At first she thought that her reputation would
suffer from the visits of a single gentleman like Rufford, not that she cared at this point. But if Redding and
Rait were any example, the crew turned an indulgent eye on his attentions, perhaps due to her condition.
Jenny was most practical about it, noting that under the circumstances it was very nice to have such
generous support.
The loblolly boys brought in the hip bath one day and carried hot water from the galley that Jenny poured
over Beth. A bath had never felt so good. As Mrs. Pargutter wailed Jenny s name, she calmly helped
Beth dress for the first time in one of her black morning gowns, then gave her over into Mr. Rufford s
care while the seamen removed the bath and tidied her cabin a task that required swabbing and drying
and polishing.
Mr. Rufford handed her to an elbow chair in the common cabin. He had pulled canvas curtains across
the small windows under the bow of the ship.  You look charming, Miss Rochewell. I hope you are
feeling more the thing.
 The bath was wonderful, Beth sighed.
 I hoped it might be. He sat opposite her.
 You ordered a bath for me? She flushed.
 Sailors would never think of it, and Jenny is preoccupied. His voice was matter-of-fact.
Beth blushed, remembering that he had undressed her in Gibraltar.  You shouldn t have troubled
yourself, she said crossly.  I am quite capable of ordering my own bath.
He raised his brows and took a tray from Redding with a telltale tankard on it.
 And I am heartily sick of this dreadful brew. She pushed the proffered tankard away.  I should like a
glass of Madeira, Redding, if you please.
Rufford had only to shake his head.
Redding bobbed.  Begging your pardon, miss, but Mr. Rufford said wine wasn t no good for your
condition, miss. I dasn t serve you wine. None of us would.
Beth sent a furious glance to Rufford, who looked smug.  Mr. Rufford ordering for me?
Redding bobbed again.  Takes quite the care of you. Orders special dinners from the cook and
questions me to see that it was served just so at two. Orders suppers, too. We all put in our Parmesan
for your toasted cheese last night. And hopes you liked it.
Beth sighed.  You are all taking most oppressive care of me. I thank you.
Redding beamed and bowed himself out.
 Your temper indicates you are recovering quite nicely, Rufford observed from a safe distance across
the table.
 A few more days of everyone treating me like an invalid and I shall go stark, staring mad! she
exclaimed.
 Then it seems to me you might be recovered enough for a game of chess. Beth saw his blue eyes
laughing at her behind their serious pretense.
 Only if you don t let me win to keep my invalid spirits up, she muttered.
 No danger of that, he said demurely.
 I rise to a challenge every time, sir, she said with asperity as he set out the pieces, automatically giving
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