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does Jake. We want you. We love you. Enough excuses, enough bureaucracy,
enough people telling you what you re supposed to do and what s supposed to be
good for you. Come home. I m taking us.
He put his hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes, and slowly shook his
head.  Put Jake down for a minute. He ll be okay.
Lauren put her son on the grass. Jake sat and looked up at her, suddenly
solemn, suddenly patient.
Brian said,  We have this chance to say good-bye, you and I. This one chance,
which you fought hard to get. Don t waste it. Kiss me, and tell me that you
love me.
Lauren blinked back tears. Shook her head  no.
 Dead is dead, Laurie. My word is my word, too. I love you, and I will love
you forever. When you return here when you really belong here I ll be here
waiting for you. But I am not the last love you will have in this life of
yours. Kiss me, and tell me good-bye, and go start living again.
 Oh, Brian, there s no one else like you.
 I hope not. He gave her a little smile, and she saw tears on his cheeks.  I
don t want you to find a replacement for me that would be living in the past.
Just look forward. And remember that you re free. Heaven has no place for
jealousy here, all loves have room to flower and grow. He pulled her into his
arms and kissed her hard, the way he used to when they were standing in the
hangar and he was going TDY and had his bag on his shoulder and she could feel
the plane out there, waiting to take him away from her again.
She kissed him back, melting into his arms, wanting so much for this to be the
first time, not the last. For this to last forever. But he pulled away, bent
over, and picked up Jake.
 I m glad you came to see me, sport. But you know you don t get to come back
here again.
 I know. Jake nodded.
 And you know I ll always be with you inside. He tapped Jake s chest.
 I know.
 Take care of your mommy, Brian said, and wrapped Jake in a tight embrace.
Jake flung his arms around his father s neck and kissed him on the cheek.  I
wanted to be Superman, he said.  I wanted to save you.
 You re going to have to be Mommy s little Superman, okay? Be a good boy. I m
proud of you. He put Jake back on the grass.  Go with Mommy now. It s time to
go home. Brian s face crumpled, and he had to turn away.
 Not yet, Lauren whispered.
 You have to go, Brian said.  They need you back there. He turned around to
look at her again and forced a tiny smile.  I ll be here when you get back.
Lauren finally accepted it. He wasn t coming home. No last-minute reprieve, no
miracle, no voice of God above saying,  Go. Go. You fought so hard to be
together you deserve this. Just that gate, waiting. And Jake. And the
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knowledge that back home, people needed her.
She picked up Jake and swung him onto her hip.  I ll miss you, Bri.
 I ll miss you, too. But it s never as long as it seems. Usually, it isn t
even as long as you want. Be happy. That will make me happy.
With Jake in her arms and his legs wrapped around her waist, she put her hand
on the gate and said,  I want to go home.
 Good-bye, Daddy, Jake yelled.
And then Lauren stepped through.
Onto a featureless gray plain, with a featureless gray sky, now lacking even a
road to bisect it and offer to it some feeling of direction and finity.
 Oh, no, Lauren whispered.  This is not where we wanted to be. She closed
her eyes and summoned a road beneath her feet. Then she gave it a sign that
said,  Home, and started walking.
 I don t like this place, Jake said.
 You have good instincts, puppy-boy. She tightened her grip on him and walked
faster.
 You know why you re here, the Administrator said. He sounded like he was
right behind them, though Lauren didn t trust sound in this place.
Nevertheless, when Jake gave a little whimper and buried his face against her
neck, she did peek over her shoulder.
She wished she hadn t.
The Administrator stood right behind her, clad in his flowing, wind-whipped
black, and with him were a hundred black-clad clones, all faceless, hidden
beneath their dark cowls, with arms crossed over chests and censure in their
stances.
They said nothing. They simply stood. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]